Jan 2, 2012...was a Monday. It was a holiday in observance of New Years Day. John had to go to work to get his POW pictures taken. That hit home...About 4:00 pm I looked at the clock and I thought, how do you stop time? It was ticking and the hour was looming...Jesus wept and so did I.
While I was making homemade taco shells for dinner, Lauren said, "It is better to cry in the shower because then you can't tell if your face is wet from crying or the shower." She tried to lighten the mood and it worked for a minute. We had tried to make the most of the few days we had been given. John took the boys to Waffle House one last time. He showed Emma a few things about our finances that she could help me with. He told me who to call about our investments if something should happen to him. He changed the air filters in our home. We celebrated Lauren's birthday. Hers is the only one (except for John's big 40) that he will miss. She wanted to go to Japanese and so after we went together to the base to get some more stuff for John, we got to the restaurant. Lily fell out of her chair and cut her lip. It was a sad night but we tried to find joy.
Our family at Saki
Praying before our meal
Monday night we ate dinner together for the last time...for a while. The last prayers before a meal....the last tuck ins, how do you spend those last few hours with your family? What do you say to your spouse before you try to fall a sleep...knowing he will be picked up at 3:00 am and you won't have much time to say good bye then? You don't say much...you just pray...and search for that "joy unspeakable".
You eat ice cream with your 8 year old and watch a football game.
You snuggle with your 2 year old who knows that something is up but doesn't know what.
And so he left...